My dad My Hero

Have you heard people said you don't know what your have till it's gone.. If you asked me what the best thing about my life,I'm not gonna say it's about my job,my car,my study,my friend or others else..but the BEST thing about my life and I keep missing it the most now is my family,especially my beloved BABA...

Ba,I written this letter so many time,but not in the paper..just in my mind, my heart is capable of saying,when words are dying and fading, it's funny how useless I'm writing this entry right,almost as useless as blown kiss. Now you just too far away from me. I don't know how to get to you and seriously I can't find the way at all.

You someone I barely even knew. Why thing have to be this way? You being gone this fast.. The time your little know nothing boy hoping you're there for him. Physically distances can be covered. But what do I do with this spiritual emptiness? This space between me and you. Can't cover this space even how hard I try. You know I wish I could somebody else,just for one day. See what it's like to live in those shoes, to have everyone at your feet. I wish I could have my laugh but I think it's gone. Since that day, that dreadful day, when I found out the news. You leaving me forever. 

Ba I still remember the day you woke me up to the school but I refused to wake up..you didn't get mad to me but you slowly lift me from my bed and brought me to the bathroom. But I still refused to open my eyes. You just said  ' ayiq don't be like this sayang,you will be late to school and mama will start babbler at you and me' 

You bathe me and wear me my school uniform and feeding me . Everything I asked from you you will make it true..even sometime it's look like silly wish. I never had to pay each thing you give me by money...but you just asked me to say 'baba tq, ayiq love this so much and of course ayiq love you' and that can make you smile for whole day.. I do remember your touch,your forehead kiss and advice before I sleep and you always said I'm the only son you have...do make you proud.. I will baba.. I promise this to you. Now I really miss your voice singing me the lullaby song before I sleep, the feeling of your kisses to make me smile when I was crying. So many memories longing about you. A future that wants you to be alive and true. 

BABA I LOVE YOU :')